Laying in bed listening to Tim McGraw. Don't ask me why - it's just been one of those days. One of those days when I wake up thinking about Montana and my American year. Tim McGraw helps me with that year - I will never forget the day when my friend and I went to his concert in Seattle. It was in the middle of everything and he made my cry. He made me cry just with the words he sang. It was so beautiful and it hurt so much. I remember I had to sit down because it hurt so much. Those memories catch up with me sometimes. They are always there, under the surface. Even though they show up more rarely now, they always do. Always. I cannot explain what I feel but it always makes my want to cry. I miss it and I hate it. So many confusing feelings, so many hard feelings. Tim McGraw pretty much says it all - that's why I listen.